How Do I Get Back With My Ex Girlfriend?
Hurt feelings is usually the cause and result of couples breaking up. She thinks, “He doesn’t appreciate me, He takes me for granted, I feel like I’m just being used.” The list could go on and on.
This has been a problem for thousands of years. We all have a craving of wanting to be appreciated and to feel loved. In answer to the question in the title of this article, “How Do I Get Back With My Ex Girlfriend,” the best place to start is with some searching of your own mind and heart.
If you really want to get back with your girlfriend, the starting place is with yourself. Just getting back together is not all that difficult. Staying back together is the part you want to work on.
No matter how great you thought you treated her, there was obviously something missing. There is a book titled: Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus
Below are some steps to take in planning the reconciliation of your relationship with your girlfriend. While this isn’t all you need to know, it will get you started in the right direction.
Before I get into the steps though, let me advise you about contacting her. If it has been over a week since the breakup and you’ve had no contact with her, you’ll need to call her in the next day or so. If it’s less than a week, hold off calling her until the week is up. In the mean time, read below.
First off consider who caused the breakup. That sounds easy, but to know for sure, you’ll need to know the real underlying reason. She may have dumped you, but why. Go back over in your mind the days and weeks leading up to the breakup. Search your memory for clues she may have given you.
Guys are sometimes so focused on the external things, they easily miss subtle clues. Can you remember any change in her attitude in that time period? If so, what preceded the change? You could ask her directly, but it would be more helpful if you could come up with the reason(s) on your own.
When you determine the reason, ask yourself is it something that could have been avoided and also how can you fix it. If you’re going to fix it, remember her feelings. You not only need to fix the problem, you also must repair her hurt feelings.
Let’s say you determined the problem was the day you wanted to watch the football game and didn’t consider she was hoping to go for a walk in the park. You can’t just say to her, “Okay, I figured it out, I know last week when we stayed in and watched football you wanted to go for a walk in the park. In the future I’ll be more considerate of your feelings. Can we get back together now?”
If you caused the breakup, you need to let her know that you realize you caused it. You know it was your fault. Tell her you’re sorry for what you did. Tell her you realize you were being selfish and not considering what she wanted and in the future you plan to discuss differences rather than just making your way the only way.
Another point of getting back together is timing. As I said earlier, you want to wait at least a week before contacting her. Then when you do call, or she calls you, keep the conversation short. Five minutes maximum. Overall, plan to take several weeks, or even months, before actually dating her again.
Part of the reason for the shortness of the phone call is to avoid bringing up old hurts and dark memories. The other part is to let her know you’re doing okay without her right now. Let her know you still care for her but you’re doing okay.
In the meantime, don’t isolate yourself from your friends and family. One of the worst things you could do would be to stay at home and feel sorry for yourself. That would only lead to you making it more difficult to get back together with her again at a later date.
I’m not suggesting you date someone else, but hang out with your friends, go to a game with the guys, keep yourself active. This might even be a time to help sharpen your people skills by seeing what other guys are doing in their relationships. Spend some time with your family.
Over the coming weeks and months you’ll need to work to reestablish a friendly relationship with your girlfriend. Be willing to let that time make changes in both you and her. Look for opportunities to go out of your way to show her how you love her and want to make her life more rewarding.
There is a lot of information on the internet about relationships and how to overcome relationship problems. Some of it’s very good, some not so good. I have a favorite resource that I recommend. It’s a book you can download online called The Magic of Making Up by T.W. Jackson. For more information about the book and about the author you can go to his website. I know you’ll find it to be very helpful.
It’s my hope that the above information will be helpful to you and you’ll get your girlfriend back. I hope your relationship will be stronger than ever. If you’d like to read another one of my articles on this subject, you can access it here.
God bless you,
Chris
